Unsanskari, a feminist life, by Nirvana Bhandary is a collection of eight feminist essays that explores what it means to be a millennial Nepali woman. I picked up the book with very little idea about it. Initially, I thought it would be a collection of profiles, mini stories, of women that have or are living an unsanskari life.
It’s an easy read to follow and I finished it quickly. The book feels more like a memoir; excerpts into Nirvana’s life and how it has been far from ‘sanskari’. Along with her personal life experiences, the writer details the bigger picture scenario stating researched material and statistics around sexual assault to the beauty industry.
There were parts that stood out for me, and I was quick to underline. Here are some:
“When heterosexuality is assumed of me, I do not interject or get angry, because I know the real battle is still ahead of me. When I find the love of my life and want to share the news with the world, that’s the time the real fight will begin. I am saving my energy for that.’’
“When sex is shaped by silence, shame and performance rather than honesty and curiosity, women are denied the full spectrum of pleasure.”
“Why is he not texting back? Why did he ghost me? Why has he never taken me on a proper date? – Because he has work to do on himself – healing, growth, introspection. It is not your shortcomings that prevent him from giving you the abundance of affection you deserve.”
I found that I could relate to many of her frustrations and the way she viewed society and the world around her. Of course, there’s the upbringing overseas… Nirvana grew up in the US, Australia and Nepal.
Unsanskari – a feminist life, is like Nirvana’s social media captions but longer, deeper and more personal. It feels like catching up with a friend as she navigates stories that tell us how society restricts and limits women, and how she is pushing the boundaries in her own way!
