“My Pain Is Invisible To Others”

We Only Live Once - 2010
We Only Live Once – 2010

There you were, smiling and creating a ruckus wherever you went.
Never was I aware of the pain hidden behind your face.
To question is to suffer and I don’t want to question anymore my friend,
The way you left us, I cant help but put ourselves to blame,

I never asked how you were, I never really probed,
I failed as a friend, I failed to hear you at your most,

Walking the streets of London, a chirpy girl in leggings I see,
I follow her pace quickly wishing and hoping that it is you,
Oh how I still cant believe all of this is true,
As I go to uni and pass the regular stops,
I remember our moments and my eyes fill with tear drops,

I worry about how it will be when we meet,
I worry you’ll look at me and go off on your feet,
Some live in their dreams and now I know why
To see you in my sleep is my every nights try,

I sit here and think about all the things I could’ve said to you,
I sit here and think about all the things you’ve been through,
I was selffish not to ask, I was selffish in my own world,

“A problem shared is a problem halved” I knew,
How unfortunate I never applied it with you,

You were the most independent girl I met,
An individual with her goal and aims tightly set,

Six months on and “the truth” finds its way,
I don’t know why but everybody’s got something to say,
Its their own version, their version of the truth,
Misconstrued and Misunderstood,
We really have no clue.

Every new day is every day further from the last time we met,
I still have the text you sent me saying you were going to be 1 minute late,
Never did I have a friend like you,
Neither do I want, another you,

You’ll always be in my heart and I’ll try to live like you,
‘Every day is my day’ thats what you believed to be true,

I will hold on to our moments till the end,
I will write it down till the last drop of my pen,

Shruti Baral 04/01/1991 – 17/02/2013
Written on 12/08/2013
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Lex Limbuhttps://lexlimbu.com
Lex Limbu is a non-resident Nepali blogger based in the UK. YouTube videos is where he started initially followed by blogging. Join him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter.

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