A question that I find myself asking and seeking an answer to every once in a while, is the reason behind our individual existence. “What do you live for?” was a question I asked several of my close friends and those I felt I could connect with during summer. Are we merely born just to live another cycle of life, tick all the boxes from being a baby, a child, a teenager, a young adult, growing old and then the eventual death. It’s a perplexed feeling I’ve carried in the past, the feeling of being happy and grateful for everything in life but also wondering how long this goes on for; is life worth living till the end.
As I struggle in search for the appropriate words, I realise this was an easier conversation with a friend.
Time moves fast and the friends I’ve lost slowly fade to the edge of oblivion. And I’ve questioned repeatedly, what is the point when all this, whatever I do, will all be forgotten, replaced; nothing is permanent. Is it even worth making the start? Our whole existence is so momentary, so feeble.
With all the attention on big actions and grand ideas, it’s no surprise that we are disenchanted with our small actions. Whatever I do, I sense it’s only a dot in this big world. How many dots do I need to fully find a reason to look forward to the future. And sometimes, our mind stops us from believing that life is moving forward.
A friend who did not enjoy this life that we live here, in the West asked me how long we could continue living like this… working, earning, living, working, saving, buying. I had no answer but to reply with ‘this is the way of the world or else we’ll fall behind’. At times, I see why people fall behind, the reason to stand up is missing along the way.
With my views on life and living, I don’t mean to startle you… This is my first step in taking the conversations that I have with my close friends and sharing it with you. Friends and strangers have provided refuge at times when I’ve felt blue. Just asking another person, “What do you live for?” opens my thoughts to the varied ways that people choose to view life, actions and the good and bad of the world. There’s an overwhelming pressure I feel to be positive on my social media pages and I know that I am not alone when I say this. Never did I realise how boxed you feel in this air of positivity and joy that’s shared with every click.
W H Y I L I V E
I question myself too much which inadvertently sees me putting myself down, but I am trying to change that. Adjustments will need to be made to the lens from which I view my life. There’s a shift that’s emerging in my perspective and that is the reason why I live.
A life that’s lived where you question your every action is not worth living.
I can’t put my emotions into my words of how jovial I am to see this post. Past couple of years has been lots of changes for me, whether or not it was positive times, but most often I asked exactly the same question to myself and tried asking the same questions to people around me too. Sometimes it got so frustrating when I hear ‘This is the way of life or else you’ll fall behind!’. Wow, what am I to expect out of myself if I believe them? The way I thought was too overwhelming for people around me so I stopped asking questions. Looking for an answer was draining, exhausting and exasperating! And now that I see my reflection in this beautiful piece of work, I see that I’m not alone. I vibe with you Lex! That you for sharing. Looking forward to what lies ahead!
Hi Sujata,
Thank you for your comment. It’s nice to know that there are many of us who have similar questions and I hope through the course of life, we are able to find people and experiences which will help us see the answer more clearly.
Wishing you all the best.
Lex
A flower exists to bloom by its own nature.
Hi MLimbu,
Thank you for the captivating line. May we all find our own way.
Best,
Lex