Thats a question which is constantly on my mind. I know I’ve still got my University to go through and so much more to learn and see yet I cannot help asking myself whether I will go back to Nepal one day. When I think of it now, its so easy to say ‘Yes I will’, Ive also heard many others say that however I havent actually seen many take the step. When my parents friends come for dinner, Nepal is always on the subject. Most of them all say they’ll go back once their children finish their education or after they stop working, however what I’ve noticed is many aunties seem more settled in the UK and have gone as far as to state that theres nothing in Nepal for them anymore. This is in contrast to the uncle-lots who are more emotionally attached to the hills where they’ve come from.
During my trip last Summer, I went to make a Citizenship ID (Nagarita) at the Kathmandu CDO where we basically got told to go from A to B, B to A and round and round. The highly-bureaucratic government policies is one of many things which I dislike about Nepal. I was angered and frustrated by the treatment of the staff towards us. I felt like a foreigner in my own country. Thats a feeling which I constantly get living in Britain no matter how much I try to adapt with the way of life here. I questioned myself; where would I rather live even if that leads me to feel foreign with the surroundings.
Looking at examples such as Alok Nembang and Malvika Subba inspire me, there is hope in Nepal. Alok studied in the US and went back to work in Nepal. Malvika studied in Nepal and made her name there and she seems content in becoming an entrepreneur in her own land. I can only wish to repeat their success.
With rapid urbanisation taking place in Kathmandu it suddenly makes it easier for me to believe that maybe I’ll adapt with living in the city. Yet I dont think I can quite hack the 12 hours power cut which many citizens face. Even the 2 hours power cut became the slowest moment of my life last year. My dad once said a line which lingers on my mind ”Afno gau afai banau, arule ayera banaididaina”. Having been born in Dharan, growing up in Brunei and living the majority of my life in UK, I still ask myself; ”where is my gau”.