Will I Go Back?

Thats a question which is constantly on my mind. I know I’ve still got my University to go through and so much more to learn and see yet I cannot help asking myself whether I will go back to Nepal one day. When I think of it now, its so easy to say ‘Yes I will’, Ive also heard many others say that however I havent actually seen many take the step. When my parents friends come for dinner, Nepal is always on the subject. Most of them all say they’ll go back once their children finish their education or after they stop working, however what I’ve noticed is many aunties seem more settled in the UK and have gone as far as to state that theres nothing in Nepal for them anymore. This is in contrast to the uncle-lots who are more emotionally attached to the hills where they’ve come from.
During my trip last Summer, I went to make a Citizenship ID (Nagarita) at the Kathmandu CDO where we basically got told to go from A to B, B to A and round and round. The highly-bureaucratic government policies is one of many things which I dislike about Nepal. I was angered and frustrated by the treatment of the staff towards us. I felt like a foreigner in my own country. Thats a feeling which I constantly get living in Britain no matter how much I try to adapt with the way of life here. I questioned myself; where would I rather live even if that leads me to feel foreign with the surroundings. 
Looking at examples such as Alok Nembang and Malvika Subba inspire me, there is hope in Nepal. Alok studied in the US and went back to work in Nepal. Malvika studied in Nepal and made her name there and she seems content in becoming an entrepreneur in her own land. I can only wish to repeat their success. 
With rapid urbanisation taking place in Kathmandu it suddenly makes it easier for me to believe that maybe I’ll adapt with living in the city. Yet I dont think I can quite hack the 12 hours power cut which many citizens face. Even the 2 hours power cut became the slowest moment of my life last year. My dad once said a line which lingers on my mind ”Afno gau afai banau, arule ayera banaididaina”. Having been born in Dharan, growing up in Brunei and living the majority of my life in UK, I still ask myself; ”where is my gau”.
Lex Limbuhttps://lexlimbu.com
Lex Limbu is a non-resident Nepali blogger based in the UK. YouTube videos is where he started initially followed by blogging. Join him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter.
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  1. very insightful…. i think this is the best blog i hab read frm urs…. maybe its due to the subject that relates to most of us nepalese….neys….well done…keep up the good work…

  2. Well, I HAVE given it a thought…bt afta readin ur blog, lex…I am a bit shaky now… LOL 😀

    the same thing bumps into my head…
    i say i wILL go back! but will I definitely??? o_0??
    My Ans: I dunno..BT I want to… 🙂

    I think there is very much we can offer to NEPAL, INDIVIDUALLY, than to other, already developed countries like GBrittain and US….staying here would be only for Oneself! 🙂

    hmn…. bhannu ta sajilo tara garna garo huncha hai… taipani… i will nt give up…dats my way of ninja.. 🙂 (NARUTO)lol

  3. Haven’t been to Nepal for 5 yrs now..Dad said i can go after am done with university, hope that happens..damn 3 more yrs to go!

  4. i will go back to nepal when i retire and have enough money to cover the rest of my life. Although i was born in hongkong, and raised in different parts of asia, i still consider nepal as my homeland and completely feel connected. I just hope comming nepalese generations feel the same and not forget their roots

  5. My family say’s the same thing, Just want me to go abroad. I don’t know what will my future be & I don’t even when will I be able to go back to Nepal, Same things occurring in my mind, I am still confused what to do? But Look at the bright side as well. That might be something good but who know whats going to be next?

  6. I am in Sydney for last 4.5yrs.I been planning to go back to Nepal since the day I landed here.But am still unable to make it.

    every time I meet my friends online or receive a call from grandma..the 1st question they often ask me is “” ta Nepal kahiley auchas?” and every time I been saying ” hopefully this year”…Nowadays, I just feel so bad about it and they don’t ask me anymore either.

    I wanna go but don’t know what keeps pulling me back.

    My parents been asking me to apply for citizen and I been asking myself…” Is it really necessary?” To be honest I don’t wanna apply for citizen.Because an Australian Passport won’t change me in person, my identity ( where I came from).

    koe bhanchan ” malie ta affu Nepali ho bhanna ni lajj lagcha” But I don’t…

    I feel proud to be known as Nepali and represent my Country ” Nepal”…

    Jai Nepal!!!!

  7. im so sorry to be a grammar freak this but its;
    children finish their education or
    a child finishes their education

    i love your work, and the question you’ve asked is something we’ve all ask ourselves

    keep it up =D

  8. lexie…’gaun’ is where your heart it, where-subconciously-you feel you belong. my advice, you can reject it if you want, is to go back to your ‘gaun’ when you feel you can contribute something worthwhile to it. trust your heart, it’s almost the same as falling in love…! again and again, with the same person!!!

  9. Thank you to everyone for the comments :)). Its great to hear your side of the story aswell and thank you anonymous for correcting me :)). Iv done the correction.
    I am content in returning and living in Nepal one day. Its just daunting to think ‘what if’ I wont be able to adapt with the way of life there.

  10. Best article!!! Its awesome. Although our brothers are fighting in our country, we nepali residing outside nepal are so much united, nomatter which part of the world we belong. I study in India, i visit nepal twice a year. But each an every day, I think of visiting nepal once a day. Thanks lex for posting this article.

  11. hmm sarai ramailo lago hajur ko yo post padhda. every single kura ryt cha hai hajurko. its true that aile tira hami uk ko youth haru nepal gayo bhane dherai kura bata hamilai aftero feel huncha afnai desh ma pani but like you said garne haru le back gaera dekhaeka chan ra ahile success is with them.. timrai example lium alok nembang lai. So janu najanu hamro haath ma hune kura ho. Garo tah jata base ni huncha as u cannot be fully british/(or other nationality..PASSPORT BHAE PANI) hamro colour ra cultural roots le chutai halcha. Ani rahyo kura urbanisation ko… aile as everbody knows nepal change hundai cha..drastically hamile chahe jati ra sapana deke jati naholah ani still dherai kura haruma kami bhai rakhe ko cha BUT DAT DOESNT MEAN HOPE CHAINA. hami ahileko yuwa harunai ho pachi nepal lai agadi lane. abo hamile yesto thau ma aera education haasil gare pani hami yetai basera gain gareko knowledge lai afno motherland ma contribute nagare tah tetro hamro ba amale gareko duka ani baje harule gareko duka katah gayo? TOILET MA?
    jehos mero opinion yetimai rakhum
    lala tata

  12. A simple and original work, keep it up! I have thought abt this too, I feel like I dont belong for definite in Nepal without some western comforts and I feel like I dont belong here without some innate nepali touch, the hills, the culture and food etc! this is a dilemma! lol when im richer i wil live half my year abroad an the other half in nepal !

  13. honestly, it’s good to see so many feedbacks on this particular posts.. it actually shows that there’s still many people who loves their country of origin..
    personally, i am now looking for every small excuses to go to nepal, n thats earliest as possible..
    as for ur topic, i thought u were right abt. the contrast in between the mamas and maijus for their plans to go back..
    as for me, i am again waiting for that particular time when i will have the belief that ,now i have got the resources to take with me n start the life i’ve dreamed of..

  14. “Afno gau afai banau” that’s what my mum goes on about. Ani, I think yes thulo bhayera paisa kamayera kei garihalchu ni.

    Tara now growing older,looking to this wider world, it doesn’t seem so easy. Bidesma nai settle hunu garo huncha…work padai and stuff…kaile kamaunu ra nepal ma bhako mess clear garnu huncha. After all tyaha ko politics and stuff le kam bigardincha.

    Sometimes though I feel like giving up.

    Tara I guess, if there’s a wider community up for it. Then we all Nepalis can do it. (Y)

    🙂 and
    Do keep your spirits high.
    You won’t have to live in your country like a foreigner. It’s your country and no one can say it’s not! no matter how they treat you.

    I’m glad I read this blog. 🙂
    Ok Take care Lex
    Keep doing what you’re doing.
    We’re here to support.

  15. Lex this post is truly relevant to all of us UK basinda’z.. mainly 4 young adults who have grown here..WHERE DO WE BELONG ??

    Going back and living in Nepal seems a happy-ending, brilliant idea, however the reality is harsh and almost impossible than our dreams.

    Due to many reasons from forgetting our Nepalese language to lack of resources (electricity, water, healthcare only for rich), pollution, political corruption, security.

    Although one would have to deal with all these difficulties from going back to live in Nepal, it is also not impossible and I think one can feel a greater satisfaction and pride being and living in their country than being out of place abroad.

    So yes it is a difficult decision and a long, hard thought must be given before making this decision.

  16. honestly speaking, it was sooo moving, although the answer wasnt there yet, u still made a point, we need more of you’s, keep going, ill be watchin this space 🙂

  17. very insightful n movin blog…
    n its the same question i’ve been askin myself….n i’ve determined tht i’l go bak, of course afta my university graduation.. nomatter wht n i beleive i can adapt the situations ova there… i made myself beleive tht thinkin if so many ppl can live there then y cant i??

  18. Afno gau afai Banau…

    Nepal needs people with education and the zeal to change the country.

    Aba palo naya pidi ko…. System needs changing and that wont happen unless brain drain stops.

    So Hamro Pyaro Nepal…

    hai sad 😉 and thanks for guiding me to this post…
    nice work saujan

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